Controlling Anger in Islam:

To control anger in Islam, seek Allah's refuge by reciting "اعوذ باللہ من الشیطٰن الرجیم"  keep silent keep your physical state by sitting or lying down, perform wudu as water extinguishes the fire of anger, remember the immense rewards in the hereafter for controlling one's temper, and make Dua for patience and self - control. Recognizing anger triggers and their negative consequences can also help.

Take action when angry:

Seek refuge with Allah SWT:

Say , " I seek refuge with Allah SWT from the accursed Satan." This is a key step taught by the Prophet Muhammad SAW.

Keep silent:

The Prophet Muhammad SAW advised staying silent fo avoid staying silent fo avoid saying harmful things in state of anger.

Change your posture:

If standing, sit down. If sitting, lie down. This change of state can help reduce intense anger.

Perform Ablution:

Since Anger comes from fire and fire is extinguished by water, performing Ablution can help to cool down both physically and spiritually.

Drink water:

Taking a drink of water can help you relax and prevent becoming tense.

Long term strategies:

Making Dua:

Regularly supplicate to Allah SWT, asking for patience and the strength to control your temper.

Remember the reward:

Understand that there are significant rewards in the hereafter for those who control their anger.

Recognize trigger:

Become conscious of what makes you angry, and learn to recognize the sings of escalating anger to prevent it from taking over.

Reflect on consequences:

Considered the negative impacts of anger on your health, relationships, and overall life to motivate you to control it.

Practice breaking into a smile:

As a part of  controlling your temper, you can even try breaking into a smile or saying a kind words to de-escalate the situation.

Understanding anger in Islam:

• Seeking refuge with Allah SWT, saying " اعوذ باللہ من الشیطٰن الرجیم" (I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed devil) can help calm anger.
• Keeping silent.
• Changing posture.
• Reflect on consequences.
• Remember the reward.
• Regular supplication.

Who control his anger in Islam:

Abdullah ibn Masud reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him said, " Whom do you consider to be a fighter among you ? We said, " One whom men cannot wrestle down." The Prophet said, " it is not so. Rather it is one who controls himself when angry."

Ways to control anger:

• Step 1: Notice the sign of anger before it erupts.
• Step 2: Take a time out get physical space.
• Step 3: Give voice to your anger in writing or with a third  party , such as a counselor, pastor or friend .
• Step 4: Connect with the vulnerable feelings underneath your anger.

Importance of controlling Anger:

By mastering the art of managing anger, individuals not only learn to handle a challenging emotion but also unlock the potential for healthier relationships, improved mental and physical health, better decision-making abilities, professional growth, and overall personal development.

Controlling anger is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships, making rational decisions, and promoting overall well-being. Here's a breakdown of the importance of controlling anger:

1. Improves Relationships

Uncontrolled anger can damage personal and professional relationships.

Managing anger helps you communicate more effectively and calmly, avoiding hurtful words or actions.

It promotes empathy and understanding.

2. Enhances Mental and Emotional Health

Constant anger increases stress, anxiety, and even depression.

Managing anger reduces emotional strain, creating a sense of peace and stability.

3. Supports Physical Health

Chronic anger is linked to high blood pressure, heart problems, and a weakened immune system.

Controlling anger helps lower stress hormones and promotes overall physical health.

4. Leads to Better Decision-Making

Angry people often make impulsive, irrational choices.

Staying calm allows for clearer thinking and more logical, thoughtful decisions.

5. Helps Avoid Regret and Consequences

Words or actions done in anger can lead to regrets, broken trust, or even legal trouble.

Managing anger keeps situations from escalating and prevents harm.

6. Builds Self-Control and Discipline

Learning to control anger builds emotional intelligence and self-awareness.

It empowers you to respond, not react, in challenging situations.

7. Promotes a Positive Environment

Whether at home, work, or school, controlling anger helps create a more respectful and peaceful atmosphere.It encourages constructive conflict resolution.

Controlling anger isn't about suppressing it — it's about expressing it in healthy, constructive ways. This leads to better health, stronger relationships, and a more successful, balanced life.

How to get help with anger issues:

Taking therapies and counseling involve talking about your problems with a trained professional, such as a counsellor or psychotherapist. They can help you explore the causes of your anger and ways to manage it. This may help you understand your feelings and improve your responses to situations that make you angry.

Who is the man who controls his anger:

Allah's messenger said: 

            "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but rh strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."

Stages of anger:

The arousal cycle of anger has five phases: trigger, escalated, crises , recovery, and depression. Understanding the cycle helps us to understand our own reactions and those of others.

Rules of anger:

By recognizing, reflecting and responding to anger, individuals can more effectively navigate their anger issues and symptoms. Implementing the rules of anger management provides a structured approach that fosters self awareness, emotional regulation, and healthier communication.

The “rules of anger” can be interpreted in a few different ways depending on context — whether you're looking for psychological insights, philosophical ideas, or even religious teachings. But generally, the phrase refers to principles or guidelines to help you understand, manage, and express anger in a healthy and constructive way.

1. Acknowledge It Honestly

Don’t suppress or deny your anger. Recognize it as a valid emotion, but not one that has to control you.

2. Pause Before You React

Give yourself space (a few seconds, minutes, or even a day) before reacting. Anger often demands immediate expression, but that can lead to regret.

3. Identify the Real Cause

Ask yourself: "What am I really angry about?" Often, anger masks hurt, fear, shame, or frustration.

4. Own Your Feelings

Use “I” statements, like “I feel angry because…” rather than blaming (“You made me angry…”).

5. Express It Constructively

Speak firmly but respectfully. Write it out. Use art or physical activity. Avoid shouting, insults, or violence.

6. Avoid Passive Aggression

Don’t bottle it up or express it through sarcasm, stonewalling, or subtle digs. That only makes things worse long-term.

7. Understand the Consequences

Think through the possible outcomes before expressing anger. Ask: Is this the hill I want to die on?

8. Choose the Right Time and Place

Don’t unload your anger at an inappropriate moment. Wait for a calm setting where you and the other person can really talk.

9. Forgive When You’re Ready

Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning bad behavior, but it helps you move on instead of staying stuck in resentment.

10. Learn and Grow From it

Every episode of anger is a chance to understand yourself better. Reflect on what triggered you and what you can do differently next time.

How do I control my emotions:

To control your emotions, practice Self- awareness by recognizing and naming your feelings , then pause before reacting by using deep breathing or taking a walk. You can also manage emotions by identifying their triggers, engaging in mindfulness or meditation, exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep, and talking to trusted friends or a therapist for ongoing support.

Recognize and understand:

1. Notice and name your feelings:

Pay attention to your emotional state without judgement and give your feelings a name, such as " I feel angry" or " I feel anxious".

2. Identify your triggers:

Understand what specific people, situations or thoughts trigger intense emotional responses in you.

3. Practice mindfulness:

Engage in mindfulness to become more aware of your emotions as they start to escalate, giving you a change to intervene before you react.

Pause and respond:

1. Take deep breath:

When you feel overwhelmed, stop and take slow deep breaths. This activities your body's natural relaxation response and helps you stay calm.

2. Delay your reaction:

Instead of an immediate reaction, count to ten, count to yourself or count to 10 and think before your respond.

3. Disengage and Reassess:

If a situation is escalating, give yourself space to calm down. Step away from the situation to regain composure.

Build healthy habits:

1. Exercise regularly:

Physical activity is a powerful tool for managing stress and improving your mood and mental state.

2. Prioritize sleep and nutrition:

Ensure you get adequate sleep and eat nutritions food, as a well-rested and well- nourished body is better equipped to manage emotions.

3. Journal your feelings:

Writing down your feelings can help you process them and gain clarity.

Seek support:

1. Talk to others:

Share your experiences with trusted friends or family members who can offer support and perspective.

2. Consider professional help:

If you consistently have trouble coping with difficult emotions, a therapist can provide valuable strategies and support.

Main causes of anger :

Some people are more prone to anger due to events from their childhood, their past, or even recent experiences. The root causes of anger include fear, pain or frustration, although it often  stems from  mental health conditions.

Anger is a natural emotional response to perceived threats, injustices, or frustrations. It can be triggered by a wide range of internal and external factors. Here are the main causes of anger, categorized into broader themes:

1. Frustration

When goals are blocked or expectations are unmet.

Traffic jams

Repeated failure

Delays or inefficiency

Feeling stuck or powerless

2. Injustice or Unfairness

Perception of being treated unfairly or witnessing unfair treatment.

Discrimination

Being blamed unjustly

Inequity in relationships or workplaces

Social or political injustice

3. Hurt or Pain

Emotional or physical pain can quickly lead to anger.

Betrayal or rejection

Abandonment

Grief or loss

Insults or emotional abuse

4. Threats or Fear

Anger is often a defense mechanism against fear.

Feeling unsafe or vulnerable

Perceived attacks (physical or emotional)

Threats to identity, ego, or values

5. Stress and Overwhelm

Too much pressure with too few coping resources.

Work overload

Financial strain

Sleep deprivation

Caregiver fatigue

6. Learned Behavior or Environment

Anger modeled or reinforced in childhood or environment.

Growing up around frequent yelling or violence

Cultural norms that encourage aggression

Lack of emotional regulation skills

7. Low Self-Esteem or Shame

People may react with anger to cover feelings of inadequacy.

Criticism

Embarrassment

Comparing oneself to others

8. Unmet Needs

Basic or psychological needs not being fulfilled.

Need for respect, love, or autonomy

Feeling ignored or dismissed

Lack of recognition or appreciation

Triggers vs. Root Causes

Triggers are immediate events that spark anger (e.g., someone cutting you off in traffic).

Root causes are deeper, often long-standing issues (e.g., chronic stress, unresolved trauma, low self-worth).

How to control Anger:

Anger is one of the evil whispers of Shaytan, which leads to so many evils and tragedies, of which only Allah SWT knows their full extent. For this reason Islam has a great deal to say about this bad characteristic, and the prophet Muhammad SAW describes cures for this " disease" and ways to limit it's effects, among which are the following:

Seeking refuge with Allah SWT from the Shatan:

Suleman ibn Sard said: " I was sitting with the Prophet Muhammad SAW and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet Muhammad SAW said, ' I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feel would go away, if he said, " I seek refuge with Allah SWT from the Shatan , " what he feels ( i.e his anger) would go away.

The Prophet Muhammad SAW said: " if a man gets angry and says, " if a man gets angry and says , " I seek refuge with Allah SWT,  his anger will go away "

Keeping silent:

The messenger of Allah SWT said: " If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." 

This is because, in most cases, the angry person loses self- control and could utter words of kufr/ disbelief ( from which we seek refuge with Allah SWT) or curses, or the word of divorce which would destroy his home, or words of slander which would bring him the enmity and hatred of others. So, in short keeping silent is the solution which helps one to avoid all that.

Not moving:

The messenger of Allah SWT said: " If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down , so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down."

The narrator of this Hadith is Abu Dharr , and there is a story connected to his telling of it: he was talking his camels to drink a trough that he owned, when some other people came along and said, " Who can compete with Abu Dharr with the result that the tough Was broken. Abu Dharr was expecting help in watering his camel's, but instead the man misbehave and caused the trough to be broken. Abu Dharr was standing, so he sat down, then he laid down. Someone asked him, " o Abu Dharr, why did you sit down then lie down? He said: " The Messenger of Allah SWT said: and quoted the Hadith.

According to another report, Abu Dharr was watering his animals at the trough, when another man made him angry, so he sat down.

Among the benefits of thia advice given by the Prophet Muhammad SAW is the fact that it prevents the angry person from.going out of control, because he could strike our and find out shortly - or he could destroy possessions and so on. Sitting down makes it less likely that one will become overexcited. Lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something crazy or harmful.

Al-Allama al- Khattabiy may Allah Almighty have mercy on him, said in his commentary on Abu Dawud:

     " One who is standing is in position to strike and destroy, while the one who is sitting is less likely to do that, and the one who is lying down can do neither. It is possible that the Prophet Muhammad SAW told  the angry person to sit down is lie down so that he would not do something that he should later regret. And Allah Subhan o Ta'ala know best "

Following the advice of the Prophet Muhammad SAW:

Abu Huraira, may Allah Almighty pleased with him, reported that a man said to the Prophet Muhammad SAW, " Advise me, " He said , " Do not become angry." The man repeated his request several times , and each time the Prophet Muhammad SAW told him, " Do not become angry."

According to another report, the man said: " I thought about what the Prophet Muhammad SAW said, and I realized that anger combines all kinds of evil."

Do not become angry and Paradise will be yours:

Remembering what Allah SWT has promised to the righteous who keep away from the causes of anger and struggle within themselves to control, it is one of the most effective ways of extinguishing the flames of Anger. One of the Hadiths that describe the great reward for doing this is : " Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah SWT will fill his heart with contentment on the day of resurrection."

Another great reward is described in the Prophet's Muhammad SAW words." Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah SWT will call him before all of mankind on the day of resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hur al- Iyn whoever he wants."

Knowing the high status and advantages offered to those who control themselves:

The messenger of Allah SWT said:  

     " The strong man is not the one who can overpower others ; rather the strong man is the one who control himself when he gets angry."

The grater , the anger the higher the status of the one who controls himself. The Prophet Muhammad SAW said: " The strongest man is the one who, when he gets angry and his face reddens and his hackles rise, is able to defeat his Anger."

Ana's reported that the Prophet Muhammad SAW passed by some people who were wrestling. He asked, " what is this?" They said: " So and so is the strongest, he can beat anybody." The Prophet Muhammad said, " Shall I not tell you who is even stronger than him? The man who, when he is mistreated by another, controls his anger, has defeated his own shatan and the Shatan of the one abo made him angry."

Following the Prophet's example in the case of anger:

The Prophet Muhammad SAW is our leader and has set the highest example in this matter is recorded in a number of Hadiths. One of the most famous was reported by Ana's, may Allah Almighty, who said: 

    " I was walking with the messenger of Allah SWT and he was wearing a Najrani cloak with a rough collar. A Bedouin came and seized him roughly by the edge of his cloak, and I saw the marks left on his neck by the collar. Then the Bedouin  ordered him to give him some of the wealth of Allah SWT that he had. The Prophet Muhammad SAW turned to him and smiled, then ordered that he should be given something."

   Another way in which we can follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad SAW I by making our anger for the sake of Allah SWT, when his rights are violated. This is the kind of anger which is praiseworthy. So the prophet Muhammad SAW became angry when he was told about the Imam who was putting people off the prayer by making it too long; when he saw a curtain with about the Makhzumi woman who had been convicted of theft, and he said: " Do you seek to intervene concerning one of the punishments prescribed by Allah SWT?", when he was asked question that he dislike, and so on. His anger was purely for the sake of Allah SWT.

Knowing that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness:

The righteous are those praised by Allah SWT in Quran Kareem And by his Messenger of Allah . Paradise as wide as heaven and earth has been prepared for them. One of their characteristics is that they "spend in prosperity and in adversity , repress anger, and pardon men; verily, Allah paak loves al- muhsinun ."

These are the ones whose good character and beautiful attributes and deeds Allah paak has mentioned, and whom people admire and want to emulate. One of their characteristics is that when they are angry, they forgive.

Listening to reminders:

Anger is a part of human nature, and people vary in their anger. It may be 

Difficult for a man not to bet angry, but sincere people will remember, and they will not overstep the mark. Some examples follows:

Ibn Abbas reported that a man sought permission to speak to ' Umar ibn al- khattab then he said: " O son of al-Khattab you are not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us." Umar was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al- Hurr ibn Qays, who was one of those present, said: O Amir al- Muminin, Allah SWT said to his Prophet Muhammad SAW: show forgiveness, enjoin what is good and turn away from the foolish. " By Allah SWT, " Umar could go no further after al- Hurr had recited this ayah to him, and he was a man who was careful to adhere to the book of Allah SWT.

This is how the Muslim should be. The evil hypocrite was not like this when he was told the Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad SAW and one of the companions said him, " Seek refuge with Allah SWT from the Shatan ." He said to the one who reminded him, " Do you think I'm crazy? Go away!" 

Knowing the bad effects of anger :

The negative effects of anger are many; in short they cause damage to one's own self and to others. The angry person may utter words of slander and obscenity, he may attack others in an uncontrolled manner, even to the point of killing.

Alqamah ibn Wail  reported that his father told him: " I was sitting with with the Prophet Muhammad SAW when a man came to his leading another man by a rope. He said, ' O Messenger of Allah SWT this man killed my brother." The messenger of Allah SWT asked him.' Did you kill him?" He said  Yes I killed him,  He said , He and I were hitting a tree to make the leaves fall, for animal feed, and he slandered me, so I stuck him on the side of the head with an axe, and killed him."

Anger could lead to less than killing, such as wounding and breaking bones. If the one who caused the anger runs away, the anger person turns his anger on himself, so he may tear his clothes, strike his cheeks, or have a fit , or fall unconscious or he may break dishes and plates, or break furniture.

In the worst cases, anger results in social disasters and the breaking of family ties i.e divorce. Ask many of those who divorced results in misery for the children, regret and frustration, a hard and difficult life, all as a result of anger. If they had remembered Allah SWT,  come to their senses, restrained their anger and sought refuge with Allah SWT, none of this would have happened. Going against Shariah only results in loss.

The damage to health that results from anger can only be described by doctors, Such as thrombosis, high blood pressure, and hyperventilation which can lead to fatal heart attacks, diabetes etc.

The anger person should think about himself during moments of Anger:

If the anger person could see himself in the mirror when he ja angry, he would hate himself and the way he changes, and the way his body and limbs shake, how his eyes glare and how out of control and crazy his behaviors is, he would despise himself and be revolted by his own appearance. It is well known that inner ugliness is even worse than outer ugliness; how happy the Shatan must be when a person is in this state ! We seek refuge with Allah SWT from the Shatan and from failure.

Dua( Supplications):

Dua is always the weapon of the believer, whereby he asks Allah to protect him from evil, trouble and bad behavior and seek refuge with him from falling into the pit of kufr or wrongdoing because of anger. One of the three things that can help save him is: being fair at times of contentment and of anger . One of the Dua of the Prophet Muhammad SAW was:

       "O Allah paak, by your knowledge of the unseen and your power over your creation, keep me alive for as long as you know life is good for me, and cause me to die when you know death is good for me. O Allah paak, I ask you to make me fear you in secret and in public and I ask you to make me speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask you not to let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask you for conscious that does not end. I ask you to let me accept your decree, and for a good life after death. I ask you for the longing to meet you, without going through diseases and misguiding fitnah( trials). O Allah, adorn us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided. Praise be to Allah SWT, the lies id the worlds.

Islamic tips to control your anger:

Anger not only affects a person individually but also the people who are the closest as well as others around them. For some, anger is an manageable as going quiet while and for others it could be the most disastrous thing in the world.

Anger is one of the many normal human emotions, however a rage of anger can cause plenty of damage and it is important to learn how to control it. 

Tips to control your anger:

• Make plenty of Dua: Make Dua that Allah SWT helps you overcome your anger.
• Seek refuge in Allah SWT: Anger us from Shatan so who can break it better than Allah SWT, the exalted. The Prophet Muhammad SAW advised to recite " اعوذ باللہ من الشیطٰن الرجیم"  every time we feel our blood boiling. This translates to " I seek refuge with Allah SWT from Shatan, the accursed."
• Change positions: if you feel anger while you are sitting, stand up. If you feel anger while standing,lie down and always keep changing positions.
• Silence: While we are angry, we are tempted to say so much. If you give in to this temptation, you will live to regret it and the damage you will cause will not be easy to mend. As Muslims, we are advised to speak well or remaining silent.
• Deviate your mind and  Ablution: Busy yourself in some productive work rather than vent out your anger. If you. Have nothing to do, wudu. Deviating your mind helps like magic.

Controlling parental anger through Islam:

      " And had you been serve and harsh- hearted, they wood have broken away from about you; so pass over and ask Allah's forgiveness for them".

 We don't see and hear ourselves when we are angry, especially when dealing with our kids. We shout, scream, ana say things that are considered very mean in an adult world. Verbal bullets are shot and kids are left wounded.

I don't realize the intensity of my behavior until I see someone else doing the same, and immediately I find myself in them. I realized the severity of my rage when I hear mothers shouting at the top of their voices. I can hear them despite the fact that we don't share the same houses. And every time it happens, the first image that pops into my head is .….. myself! So I would like to highlight a few important points.

1. Think of your children as Allah's amanah instead of your own property:

Controlling anger as a parent is hard when deep down inside you feel like you own these children because you have birth to them. You see, we don't even own ourselves, let alone our kids. We all are Allah's Amanah and so are they!

Kids are hardly responsible for our meltdown - they simply tend to pay a price for what we are unable to handle within ourselves. When we constantly yell kids may end up having a lower self- esteem and confidence. They may end up being aggressive. Or they may constantly stay in the state of fear. Alternatively, when a child is constantly yelled at, she can learn to " zone out" as a form of self- defense which may result in lack of concentration in other areas of life too - which may render your yelling ineffective that may trigger your anger even more- which means you may end up hitting them as a result). Telling us not only harmful for kids, bht is harmful for our own souls- not just our akhirah, but also our duniya. Just recall the last time you yelled and how you felt afterwards.

2. Know your trigger's, and work on the underlying issues:

Try to shift your attention from your child to your inner state. Under your anger  is sometimes fear, sadness, or disappointment. Let all that well up, and just breathe. Let the tears come if they need to. Be kind to yourself. Once you let yourself feel what's under the anger - without taking action- the anger will begin to melt away. When you feel stressed, and overwhelmed, your pre - frontal cortex - the rational, reasoning part of your Brain that is responsible for impulse control can't function as well as it does in calmer times. Sometimes unconscious memories from your own childhood may get triggered, and you may start acting in ways that are similar to the ways you were treated when you were young. So parent yourself first with the compassion you may have required at that time. That means learning to coach yourself lovingly through your own emotions, so you don't take them out on your children. The more you stop and reflect, the better you become at noticing your emotions which help you to work towards preventing them from reaching the  stage of anger. Once you know your triggers ,try to stay away from them and when you see yourself getting triggered take a step back instead of testing yourself whether you can see yourself getting triggered, take a step back instead of testing yourself whether you can calm the storm amidst chaos or no.

                "Prophet Muhammad SAW said: " A judge should not judge between two persons  while he is in an angry mood."

3. Understand their brain development so you have age- appropriate expectations:

It you except kids to act like adults, you will be disappointed over and over. You might find our that your child keeps returning to the same thing you said no to, because developmentally children are born curious. Knowing how their brains work can help you to be more accepting and less angry as you won't be taking it personal. But for an adult they are fully functioning - yet we choose to shut it down in the face of emotions and come down from our higher brain to the .middle brain too. When our kids are young, they don't have enough brain development to be able to consistently maintain an emoji balance. It means that it's much more important to maintain our emotional balance to support our children in regaining their balance. A tantrum or a meltdown is an unmet need- a need of affection. And kids don't have the skills or vocabulary to share the information of their emotions and feelings. Which can lead to frustration for both parties. So it's important to practice what you preach because kids see, kids do!

Many time we accuse our children of Mistakes without confirming or making sure  they actually made the mistake. We make hasty accusations and punish them, clouded by our own emotional state at that moment, only to soon realize that we were the ones mistaken. If we do fall into this situation, we should teach them conflict resolution by apologizing for our mistaken.

4. Remember that you are accountable to Allah SWT as an adult and they are not ( if they have not hit puberty):

Treat them with the kindness you would treat an adult with. When we shout so loud that the neighbors can hear it, it will hardly winter a kid's heart, mind or even soul. A firm tone is enough with the proper choice of words. Being harsh towards children is against our human nature and religion. Parents are the first role models for their kids. They look up to them in times of distress and confusion. If we fail to give them comfort, they will seclude themselves and find refuge somewhere else - be it right or wrong. Turn away from your child physically and take a deep breath to remind yourself that your anger will only make things worse.  

             " Messenger of Allah SWT said: " He is not one of us who shows no mercy to younger ones and does not acknowledge the honour due to our elders."

5. Get some rest or ask for help and slow down:

If you find that you are constantly annoyed even when kids talk to you normally throwing tantrums or anything, it means that your are exhausted beyond your capacity. It's a signal that you need some time off or it's time to let someone help and you have no community around you out. If you can't afford help and you have no community around you, it's time to cut off unnecessary things in your life that you are trying to catch up on and getting frustrated as a result of failure in doing everything. You can let go of keeping the house clean 

24/7. You can take a nap while putting the kids somewhere safe or simply even lie down ( you may wake up to a hurricane- been there done that- but when you are well rested, you'll be able to face the challenges that comes with parenthood much easily Insha Allah), You can cut down on your own media consumption social media whatever it is that takes you free time away from you. Whatever it is that takes you free time away from you. You can make simple meals and let kids have raw veggies or fruits at lunch time etc. but with emotional damage that your anger can leave on them day in and day out, can have a lifetime effect.

              " Messenger of Allah SWT said: " Allah paak is gentleness, and gives for gentleness what he does not give for harshness."

6. Try Sunnah of controlling anger:

They practical Sunnah tips like- seeking refuge with Allah SWT from Shatan, sitting down if standing and lying down if sitting, being silent etc. You become more conscious of your actions and feelings, which helps you self regulate and calm your body better. 

Disengage yourself. Remove yourself temporarily from the heated situation, instead of screaming get out my sight at your kid, take an intentional pause and leave the room. Re enter when you have better control over your actions and emotions.

            " Messenger of Allah SWT said: " Do not invoke curse in yourselves, and do not invoke curse on your  children, and do not invoke curse on your property, lest you happen to do it at a time when Allah SWT is asked for something and grants your request."

Conclusion:

In Islam, control—whether over the self, others, or resources—is a concept rooted deeply in moral responsibility, justice, and accountability before Allah (God). The Islamic perspective emphasizes that all forms of control must align with divine guidance, ethical conduct, and compassionate leadership.

Self-control (nafs) is highly valued, as it reflects spiritual maturity and is essential for fulfilling religious obligations, such as prayer, fasting, and avoiding sin. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The strong man is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who controls himself when angry.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

When it comes to controlling others—such as in leadership, parenting, or community roles—Islam strictly forbids oppression, manipulation, or abuse of power. Authority is seen as a trust (amanah) from Allah, to be exercised with justice (adl), mercy (rahmah), and wisdom (hikmah).Ultimately, Islam teaches that true control lies with Allah alone, and humans are merely stewards on Earth, accountable for how they manage their responsibilities. Control, when practiced according to Islamic principles, becomes a means of upholding peace, justice, and righteousness in both personal life and society.