Controlling Anger in Islam:
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
Understanding the anger in Islam:
- Seeking refuge with Allah SWT. Saying " Audhu Billahi min ash- Shaytan ir- Rahim". ( I seek refuge with Allah SWT from the accursed devil) Can help calm anger".
- Changing posture.
- Keeping silent.
- Reflect on consequences.
- Regular supplication.
- Remember the reward.
What does Islam say about controlling anger:
Allah SWT praises those who restrain their anger and promises them his forgiveness and a great reward.
The Prophet Muhammad SAW said: when anyone of you gets angry, let him make ablution with water as anger out of fire".
What to say in anger in Islam:
Keeping quiet: The Prophet Muhammad SAW said,
" If one of you becomes angry then he should stay silent".
This is an important practice because when we are angry our actions and speech may be disproportionate and unjust.
Benefits of controlling anger:
Controlling anger has real upsides—not just “being nice,” but improving your life in concrete ways. Here are the big benefits, broken down simply:
Mental & Emotional Health
Less stress and anxiety – anger keeps your body in fight-or-flight mode
Clearer thinking – you make better decisions when emotions aren’t hijacking you
Better emotional control – you feel powerful, not reactive
More self-confidence – knowing you can handle tough moments calmly is huge
Physical Health
Lower blood pressure & heart risk – frequent anger strains the heart
Better sleep – anger often keeps the mind racing at night
Stronger immune system – chronic anger weakens your body over time
Relationships
Fewer conflicts – calm communication prevents unnecessary fights
More respect and trust – people feel safer around you
Deeper connections – listening replaces shouting
Work & Success
Better problem-solving – you respond instead of exploding
Stronger leadership skills – calm people are seen as reliable
Improved focus & productivity
Inner Peace
Less regret – you don’t have to apologize for angry reactions
More happiness – anger drains energy that could be used for joy
Sense of control over your life
Anger itself isn’t bad—it’s a signal. Controlling it means using the message without letting it control you.
Improved communication skills: anger management skills allow you to express your true feelings without being judged, thus improving communication between you.
Surah is for anger control:
For anger control, key Quranic guidance emphasizes patience, forgiveness and seeking refuge in Allah SWT, with Surah Al- Imran being prominent, highlighting believers who restrain anger and forgive, and the strong person who controls their anger, respectively alongside verses in Al- Baqarah for patience. Reciting verses like the Tauz and specific Duas also helps manage anger's effects, according to Islamic teachings.
Key Quranic verses and teachings for Anger control:
Surah Al Imran:
" Those who spend in the cause of Allah SWT during times of ease and hardship, and who restrain their anger and pardon people - and Allah Subhan o Ta'ala loves the doers of good".
Surah Al-Shura:
Mentions believers as those " who restrain their anger and forgive people; and Allah Subhan o Ta'ala loves the doers of good".
Surah Al Baqarah:
Encourages patience and seeking help through prayer have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah SWT with the patient ") to manage anger and difficulties.
Surah Al- Furqan:
Describes the " servants of the most merciful" who respond to the ignorant with " peace" , disengaging from conflict.
Practical steps from Islamic teachings:
Recite the Tauz:
Say اعوذباللہ من الشیطان الرجیم seem refuge in Allah SWT from Shatan the rejected) to ward off Shaytan's influence when angry.
Practice forgiveness:
Actively forgiving others, even when provoked, is a significant act of worship.
Seek Allah's SWT help:
Turn to Allah SWT through prayer for patience and strength to control emotions.
Control your actions:
Restrain from speaking or acting rashly in anger, understanding that such actions can't be easily reversed.
Verse talks about controlling anger:
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who takes a city.
"In your anger do not sin".
Type of Anger:
There are actually four different types of anger that we are gonna appreciate today. And by understanding each of these, you can hopefully better understand how you are feeling and figure our the help that you may need. So let's get into it. So the four types of anger are normal, explosive , chronic and bitter.
How do I control my anger:
To control anger, use immediate calming techniques like deep breathing, counting or stepping away, then address the root cause by identifying triggers, changing negative though patterns, and finding healthy outlets like exercise, journaling or or creative activities to release tension productively, and consider seeking professional help if anger feels over powering.
In the moment ( immediate technique):
Breathe deeply:
Inhale from your diaphragm hold briefly, then exhale slowly.
Count and calm:
Count to ten, or repeat a calming word like "relax".
Use imagery:
Visualize a peaceful place or experience.
Physical release:
Punch a pillow, squeeze a stress ball, or treat up paper.
Take a break:
Remove yourself from the situation to cool down.
Long term strategies:
Identify triggers:
Figure out what sets you off.
Changing thinking:
Challenge overstated, angry thoughts and reframe situations.
Exercise regularly :
Physical activity like running, yoga, or sports helps release energy.
Quotation about anger:
- When anger rises, Think of the consequences.
- Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.
- Holding on to anger, grudge and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from cleaning your teeth.
Roots of anger:
Anger is often a reaction to and distraction from inner suffering feelings such as sadness, powerlessness, shame, anxiety, inadequacy and isolation.
Anger often arises when our needs, desires or expectations are not met, causing us to react in a defensive or aggressive manner.
Main causes of anger:
The main cause of anger include frustration, stress,and perceived injustices. Traumatic experiences and dispute in personal relationships also provoke anger, particularly when unsettled.
Anger usually isn’t random — it’s a reaction to something deeper. The main causes of anger tend to fall into a few big buckets:
Emotional causes
Frustration (blocked goals, unmet needs)
Hurt or rejection
Feeling disrespected or ignored
Unresolved resentment
Psychological causes
Stress or overwhelm
Fear or anxiety (anger often masks these)
Low self-esteem or insecurity
Loss of control
Situational causes
Struggle with others
Perceived injustice or unfairness
Criticism or blame
Repeated minor irritation (they add up)
Physical / biological factors
Fatigue
Hunger
Hormonal changes
Substance use or withdrawal
Past experiences
Unresolved trauma
Learned behavior (growing up around anger).
How to control anger:
Anger is one of the evil whispers of Shatan, which leads to so many evils and tragedies of which only Allah SWT knows their full extent. Fir this reason Islam has a great deal to say about this bad characteristic, and the Prophet Muhammad SAW describes cures fir this " disease" and ways to limit it's effects, among which are the following.
Seeking refuge with Allah SWT from the Shatan:
Sulayman ibn Sard said: " I was sitting with the Prophet Muhammad SAW and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet Muhammad SAW said, I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said, " I seek refuge with Allah SWT from the Shatan, " what he feels would go away".
The Prophet Muhammad SAW said: " If a man gets angry and says, " I seek refuge with Allah SWT, his anger will go away".
Keeping silent:
The Messenger of Allah SWT said:
"If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent ".
This is because, in most cases, the angry person loses self control and could utter words of disbelief or curses, or the word of divorce which would destroy his home, or words of slander which would bring him the enmity and hatred of others. So, in short keeping silent is the solution which helps one to avoid all that.
Not moving:
The Messenger of Allah SWT said:
" If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away, if it does not gi away, let him lie down".
The narrator of this Hadith is Abu Dharr and there is a story connected to hua telling of it: he was taking his camels to drink at a trough that he owned, when some other people came along and said , " who cam complete with Abu Dharr and make his hair stand on end"? A man said, " I can, so he brought his animals and competed with Abu Dharr with the result that the trough was broken. Abu Dharr was expecting help in watering his camels, but instead the man misbehaved and caused the trough to be broken). Abu Dharr was standing so he sat down, Then he laid down. Someone asked him, " O Abu Dharr, why did you sit down then lie down?" He said: " The Messenger of Allah SWT said:..." and quoted the Hadith.
According to another report, Abu Dharr was watering his animals at the low point, when another man made him angry, so he sat down..
Among the benefits of this advice given by the Prophet Muhammad SAW is the fact that it prevents the angry person from going out of control, because he could strike out and injure someone, or even kill as we will find out shortly - or he could destroy possessions and so on. Sitting down makes it less likely that one will become overexcited. Lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something crazy or harmful.
Al- Allama al- Khattabi, may Allah SWT have mercy on him, said in his commentary in Abu Dawud:
" One who is standing is in a position to strike and destroy, while the one who is sitting is less likely to do that, and the one who is lying to do that, and the one who is lying down can do neither. It is possible that the Prophet Muhammad SAW told the angry person to sit down or lie down so that he would not do something that he would later regret. And Allah Subhan o Ta'ala knows best".
Following the advice of the Prophet Muhammad SAW:
Abu Huraira, may Allah Almighty, reported that a man said to the Prophet Muhammad SAW, " Advise me." He said, " Do not become angry." The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet Muhammad SAW told him, " Do not become angry".
According to another report, the man said: " I thought about what the Prophet said, and I realized that anger combines all kinda of evil".
Do not become angry and paradise will be yours:
This is an authentic Hadith.
Remembering what Allah SWT has promised to the righteous who keep away from the causes of anger and struggle within themselves to control it, is one of the most effective ways of extinguishing the flames of anger. One of the Hadiths that describes the great reward for doing this is: " Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah SWT will fill his heart with contentment on the day of resurrection."
Another great reward is described in the Prophet's words: " Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah SWT will came him before all of mankind on the day of resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hur al- Iyn whoever he wants".
Knowing the high status and advantages offered to those who control themselves:
The Messenger of Allah SWT said:
" The strong man is not the one who can overpower others rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry".
The greater the anger, the higher the status of the one who controls himself. The Prophet Muhammad SAW said: " The strongest man is the one who, when he gets angry and his face reddens and his hackles rise, is able to defeat his anger".
Anas reported that the Prophet Muhammad SAW passed by some people who were wrestling. He asked, " What is this?" They said: " " So- and- So is the strongest, he can beat anybody." The Prophet Muhammad SAW said, " Shall I not tell you who is even stronger than him? The man who, when he is mistreated by another, controls his anger, has defeated his own Shatan and the Shatan of the one who made him angry ".
Following the Prophet's example in the case of anger:
The Prophet Muhammad SAW is our leader and has set the highest example in this matter, as is recorded in a number of Hadiths. One of the most famous was reported by Hazrat Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, who said: " I was walking with the messenger of Allah SWT and he was wearing a Najrani cloak with a rough collar. A Bedouin came and seized him roughly by the edge of hua cloak, and I saw the marks left on his neck by the collar. Then the Bedouin ordered him to give him some of the wealth of Allah SWT and he had. The Prophet Muhammad SAW turned to him and smiled, then ordered that he should be given something ".
Another way in which we follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad SAW is by making our anger for the sake of Allah SWT, when his rights are violated. This is the kind of anger which is praiseworthy. So the Prophet Muhammad SAW became angry when he was told about the Imam who was putting people off the prayer by making it too long; when he saw a curtain with pictures of animate creatures in Hazrat Aisha's house; when Usama spoke to him about the Makhzumi woman who had been convicted of the theft, and he said " Do you seek to intervene concerning one of the punishments prescribed by Allah SWT?" When he was asked questions that he disliked, and so on. His anger was purely for the sake of Allah SWT.
Knowing the resisting anger us one of the signs of righteousness:
The righteous are those praised by Allah SWT in the Quran Kareem and by his Messenger. Paradise as wide as heaven and earth has been prepared for them. One of their characteristics is that they spend in prosperity and in adversity, they repress anger, and they pardon men; verily, Allah SWT loves al- muhsinun.
Listening to reminders:
Anger is a part of human nature, and people vary in their anger. It may be difficult for a man not to get angry, but sincere people will remember and they will not overstep the mark. Some examples follow:
Ibn Abbas reported that a man sought permission to speak to " Hazrat Umar ibn Al Khattab R A then he said: " O son of Al- Khattab, you are not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us. " Hazrat Umar ibn al- Khattab you are not giving us much much and you are not judging fairly between us". Hazrat Umar ibn al- Khattab was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al- Hurr ibn Ways, who was one of those present, said: " O Amir Al- Muminin, Allah SWT said to his Prophet Muhammad SAW: " Show forgiveness , enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish. By Allah SWT, Hazrat Umar ibn al- Khattab could go no further after al- hurr had recited this ayah to him, and he was a man who was careful to adhere to the book of Allah SWT.
This is how the Muslim should be. The evil hypocrite was not like this when he was told the Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad SAW and one of the companions said to him, "Seek refuge with Allah from the Shatan. " He said to the one who reminded him, " Do you think I am crazy? Go away!" We seek refuge with Allah SWT from failure.
Knowing the bad effects of anger:
The negative effects of anger are many; in short they cause damage to one's own self and to others. The angry person may utter words of slander and obscenity, he may attack others in an uncontrolled manner, even to the point of killing. The following story contains a valuable lesson:
Alqamah ibn Wali reported that his father told him: " I was sitting with the Prophet Muhammad SAW when a man came to him leading another man by a rope. He said, " O Messenger of Allah SWT, this man killed my brother. The Messenger of Allah SWT asked him, " Did you kill him?' He said , Yes, I killed him. ' He asked , how did you kill him? He asked, ' How did you kill him? He said , He and I were hitting a tree to make the leaves fall, for animal feed, and he slandered me, so I struck him on the side of the head with an axe and killed him'...
Anger could lead to less than killing, such as wounding and breaking bones. If the one who caused the anger runs away, The angry person turns his anger on himself, so he may tear his clothes, or strike his cheeks, or have a fit, or fall unconscious, or he may break dishes and plates, or break furniture.
In the worst cases, anger results in social disasters and the breaking of family ties, i.e divorce. Ask many of those who divorced their wives, and they will tell you: it was in a moment moment of anger. This divorce results in misery for the children, regret and frustration, a hard and difficult life, all as a result of anger. If they had remembered Allah SWT, none of this would have happened. Going against the shariah only results in loss.
The damage to health that results from anger can only be described by doctors, such as tachycardia and hypertension which cam lead to fetal heart attacks, diabetes etc. We ask Allah SWT for good health.
The angry person should think about himself during moments of anger:
If the angry person could see himself in the mirror when he is angry, he would hate himself and the way he looks. If he could see the way he changes , and the way his body and branches shake, how his eyes dazzle and how out of control and crazy his behaviors is, he would despise himself and be disgusted by his own appearance. It is well- known that inner ugliness is even worse than outer ugliness, how happy the Shatan must be when a person is in this state! We seek refuge with Allah SWT from the Shatan and from failure.
Dua ( Supplication):
Dua is always the weapon of the believer, whereby he asks Allah SWT to protect him from.evil, trouble and bad behavior and seeks refuge with him from falling into hole of kufr or wrongdoing because of anger. One of the three things that can help save him is: being fair at times of contentment and of anger. One of the Duas of the Prophet Muhammad SAW was:
" O Allah paak, by your knowledge of the unseen and your power over your creation, keep me alive for as long as you know Life is good for me, and cause me to die when you know death is good for me. O Allah paak, I ask you to make me fear you in secret and in public, and I ask you to make me speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask you not to let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask you for continuous blessings, and for contentment that does not end. I ask you to let me accept your decree, and fir a good life life after death. I ask you for the joy of seeing your face and for the longing to meet you, without going through disease and misguiding fitnah. O Allah paak , adorn us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided. Praise be to Allah SWT, the lord of the worlds."
Controlling parental anger through Islam:
" And had you been severe and harsh- hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over , and ask ( Allah's SWT) Forgiveness For them..."
We do not see and hear ourselves when we are angry, especially when dealing with our kids. We cry out, scream,and say things that are considered very mean in an adult world. Verbal bullets are shot and kids are left wounded.
I don't realize the intensity of my behavior which until I see someone else doing the same, and immediately I find myself in the.. I realize the strictness of my rage when I hear the mother's shouting at the top of their voices. I can hear them despite the fact that we don't share the same house. And every time it happens, the first image that pops into my head is.....
1. Think of your children as Allah's SWT amaanillah Instead of your own property:
Controlling anger as a parent is hard when deep down inside you feel like you own these children because you gave birth to them. You see, we don't even own ourselves, let alone out kids. We all are Allah's SWT amaanillah and so are they!
Kids are hardly responsible for our meltdown they simply tend to pay a price for what we are unable to handle within ourselves. Think of it like - Allah SWT gave you his creation so you can beautify it and return it to him when the time comes. So are you going to return his amaanah in a damaged form? When we constantly yell, kids may end up having a lower self- esteem and confidence. They may end up being forceful. Or they may constantly stay in the state id fear. Alternatively, when a child is constantly shouted at, she can learn " zone out" as a form of self- defense which may result in lack of concentration in other areas of life too which may render your yelling ineffective that may trigger your anger even more- which means you may end up hitting them as a result). Shouting is not only harmful for kids, not just our aakhirah , but also our duniya. Just recall the last time you yelled and how you felt afterwards.
2. Know your triggers and work on the underlying issues:
Try to shift your attention from your child to your inner state. Under your anger us sometimes fear, sadness, or disappointment. Let all that well up, and just breathe. Let the tears come if they need to. Be kind to yourself. Once you let yourself feel what's under the anger- without taking action - the anger will begin to melt away. When you feel stressed, and overwhelmed, your pre- frontal cortex - the rational, reasoning part of your brain that is responsible for impulse control can't function as well as it does in calmer times. Sometimes unconscious memories from your own childhood may get triggered and you may start acting in ways that are similar to the ways you were treated when you were young. So parent yourself first with the compassion you may have required at that time. That means learning to coach yourself lovingly to through your own emotions, so you don't take them out on your children. The more you stop and reflect, the better you become at noticing your emotions which help you to work towards preventing them from reaching the stage of anger. Once you know your triggers, try to stay away from.them and when you see yourself getting yourself whether you can calm the storm amidst chaos or no.
Prophet Muhammad SAW said,
" A judge should not judge between two persons while he is in an angry mood".
3. Understand their brain development so you have age- appropriate expectations:
If you expect kids to act like adults, you'll be disappointed over and over. Learn all you can about child development. You might find out that your child keeps returning to the same thing you said no to, because developmentally children are born curious. Knowing how their brains work can help you to be more accepting and less angry as you won't be taking it personal. For kids, their higher brain is not even working. But for an adult, they are fully functioning - yet we choose to shut it down in the face of emotions and come down to their level. When we yell, we come down from our higher brain to the middle brain too. When our kids are young, they don't have enough brain development to be able to consistently maintain an emotional balance. It means that it's much more important to maintain our emotional balance to support our children in regaining their balance. A tantrum or a meltdown is an summer need- a need of affection. Need of empathy. Nerd of attention. And kids don't have the skills or vocabulary to share the information of their emotions and feelings. Which can lead to frustration for both parties. So it's important to practice what you preach because kids see, kids do!
Many times we accuse our children of mistakes without confirming ot making sure they actually made the mistake. We make hasty accusations and punish them, clouded bt our own emotional state at that moment, only to soon realize that we were the ones mistaken. If we do fall into this situation, we should teach them conflict resolution by apologizing for our mistake.
4. Remember that you are accountable to Allah SWT as an adult and they are not ( if they have not hit puberty yet):
Treat them with the kindness you would treat an adult with. When we shout so loud that the neighbors can hear it, it will hardly enter a kid's heart, mind or even soul. A firm tone is enough with the proper choice of words. Being harsh towards children is against our human nature and religion. Parents are the first role models for their kids. They look up to them in times of distress and confusion. If we fail to give them comfort, they will isolate themselves and find refuge somewhere else- be it right or wrong. Turn away from your child physically and take a deep breath to remind yourself that your anger will only make things worse. Your toddler will not be accountable to Allah SWT for her deeds, but you are as a grown up!
Messenger of Allah SWT said:
" He is not one of us who shows no mercy to younger ones and dies nor acknowledge the honour due to our elders".
5. Get some rest or ask for help and slow down:
If you find that you are constantly irritated even when kids talk to you normally, it means that you are exhausted beyond your capacity. It's a signal that you need some time off or it's time to let someone help you out. If you can't afford help and you have to community around you, it's time to cut off unnecessary things in your life that up are trying to catch up on and getting frustrated as a result of failure in doing everything. You can let go of keeping the house clean. You can take a nap while putting the kid somewhere safe or simply even lie down . You can cut down on your own media consumption social media TV dramas whatever it is that takes your free time away from you. You can make simple meals and let kids have raw veggies or fruits at lunch time etc.
Messenger of Allah SWT said:
" Allah SWT is gentle, like gentleness and gives for gentleness what he does not go ve for harshness".
6. Try Sunnah of controlling anger:
Try practical Sunnah tips like- seeking refuge with Allah SWT from Shatan, sitting down if sitting etc. You become more conscious of your actions and feelings, which helps you self regulate and calm your body better.
Messenger of Allah SWT said:
" Do not invoke curse on yourselves, and do not invoke curse on your children, and do not invoke curse on your servants, and do not invoke curse on your property, lest you happen to do it at a time when Allah SWT is asked for something and grants your request".
7. Pick your battles and practice power in other areas of life:
Set up your basic values and keep everything else mediate. It shows that you're flexible around your values. And it gives values a strong hold. If you are always use power to control kids, you'll never know how to impact. The idea is to get kids to listen without having to show power and anger. We are not safe place anymore if they can't trust their emotions with us.
Hazrat Aisha RA said:
" The Jews came to the Prophet Muhammad SAW said to him, " As- Samu Alaika ( i.e, death be upon you)." He replied, The same on you". Hazrat Aisha RA said to them, " Death be upon you, and may Allah SWT curse you and shower his wrath upon you!" Allah's SWT I said, " Be gentle and calm, O Hazrat Aisha RA! Be gentle and beware of being harsh and of saying evil things" . She said?" Didn't you hear what I replied?have returned their statement to them, and my invocation against them will be accepted but their against me will not be accepted."
8. Make Dua for yourself like you make Dua for your kids:
I love that mother make so much Dua for their kids. But I hope that they remember to make Dua for themselves too because they will see the effect of this self care on their children as well.
I remember walking during my labour and continuously saying " Rabbi Yassir". It was short hence i was able to repeat it even during strong construction. I stuck with something short that I desperately needed at that time.
Now after birth, my go to parenting Dua is:
" Our Lord, pour upon us patience".
9. Remember the reward of patience :
The Hadith on teaching kids to pray clearly teaches us to remind continuously with love for five times a day for 3 whole years- approximately 5475 times! Do we have the capacity to be patient more than 5475 times over a simple matter.
The patient ones.
And those who say,
" Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous ". Those will be awarded the Chamber for what they patiently endured, and they will be received therein with greetings and peace. Abiding externally therein, Good is the settlement and residence."
10. Rectify your mistakes and forgive yourself:
If you end up crying out, you may slowly feel the rage subside and embarrassment filling up that space....but it's important to rectify your mistake instead of going with the flow because you think that it's too late now.
It was narrated that: Ammar bin Yasir said:
Hazrat Aisha RA dropped a necklace and stayed behind to look for it. Hazrat Abu Bakr went to Hazrat Aisha RA and got angry with her for keeping the people waiting. Then Allah SWT revealed the concession allowing dry Ablution, so we wiped out arms up to the shoulders. Hazrat Abu Bakr went to Hazrat Aisha RA and said: I did not know that you are blessed ".
If you have become angry with your kids, you can admit your mistake and let go of the anger by replacing it with something better. In the example above, Hazrat Abu Bakr RA admits that he did not realize that the incident was a blessing in disguise, so he became angry. Similarly, you can admit to your child that you were unable to think through at that moment and show them how to resolve conflicts positively. You can apologize and tell them that as human beings, we all make mistakes, but it's important to take responsibility, repent and make compensation. Ask them to remind you to say " Aoodubillah " next time around.
Remember that kids are much more forgiving towards us than we are towards ourselves. If you do not forgive yourself, the Shame you carry will most likely get broken which can then lead to failure. Failure will lead to guilt and the cycle then keeps turning. Without the burden of self hatred you have been carrying around, you can heal your soul by realizing that your past is in the past. You need to accept that what's done is done and that there is nothing you can do about that. You don't have to drag your mistakes back into today. Or carry it into tomorrow. And another Day. Another week. Another month. Another year. That pain or mistake is often so brief. But dragging it along with us every where is a choice we make every single day. Use the mistake as a stepping stone to start again Insha Allah.
Anger control tips from the Quran Kareem and Sunnah:
It's so easy to say to others, " Don't be angry, " but not quite so easy to control yourself when your own anger is triggered.
There are ways prescribed by the Prophet Muhammad SAW of controlling ones anger, including seeking refuge in Allah SWT from Shatan , doing wudu and changing one's physical position.
How to neutralize your own anger though self counseling:
Generally, the source of our anger towards others is some form of injustice done to us by that person - some hurtful words uttered, some action done that harmed us, not giving us our rights, or any other form of physical or mental injury. As Muslims, it is our duty to assume good about others. Only Allah SWT knows who is a person belonging to Paradise and who belongs to the hellfire. We can't use a person's unjust deed as proof that he or she himself is bad in core. We can only prove from his or her act that the deed itself is bad.
Assuming the person in a Muslim, it could be either of two reasons, or both:
1. Influence of Shatan.
2.Weakness of faith or lack of taqwa.
As for point 1, we are not able to Judge what's in a person's heart. In fact we're not permitted to do so. Once a Sahabi, in the battle field, killed an enemy soldier who, at the point of blade, has uttered the Shahada. You or I would probably assume, like the Sahabi, Hazrat Usama ibn Zayd, that he was lying to avoid execution. But the Prophet Muhammad SAW said :
He kept on repeating this till I wished I could have embraced Islam on that day.
As per point 2, it is true that Shatan can take over one if he is weak, but if us also true that Shatan snatches those rare moments of weakness of the best of people, because after all we are all human.
Anger management tip no 1:
When a person hurts you, try to remember this simple formula: don't blame the person- blame Shatan ! Get as angry as you possible can , get rid in the face, lose your temper, at shatan. Remember how much he hates you and hate him back!
Make Shatan cry:
When a son of Hazrat Adam recites a sajadah and prostrates, Shatan withdraws weeping, saying: Woe is me! The son of Adam was commanded to prostrate and I refused, so I am destined to hell.
Belittle him:
When you say, " Bismillah, Shatan will become as small as a fly.
When we see non- Muslims committing acts of disbelief, we can't force them to give them up and accept Islam. Allah SWT says.
There shall be no compulsion in acceptance of the religion.
Conclusion:
Islam places great importance on controlling anger, viewing it as a key part of strong character and sincere faith. Through the guidance of the Qur’an and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Muslims are encouraged to practice patience, forgiveness, and self-restraint, especially in moments of emotional intensity. By remembering Allah, seeking refuge from Shayṭān, and responding with calmness rather than impulse, a believer protects both personal well-being and social harmony. Ultimately, controlling anger is not a sign of weakness in Islam, but a mark of inner strength and spiritual maturity that leads to peace in this life and reward in the Hereafter.