Motherhood in Islam:
A mother's role in Islam is monumental. A bond between a mother and a child is no doubt the most cherished and forma the basis of all life. A mother Carries a child in her womb for nine months, gives birth to it, nurtures the child, many times sacrificing her needs for the sake of the child.
Motherhood in Islam is not simply a biological function but it is divine trust, a sacred mission and a glorious position.
The role of mother is not just about nurturing and caring for her children but also about being their first teacher and guide in life.
Why are mothers so important in Islam:
In Islam, a mother Holds an incredibly high and sacred status, honored as a symbol of love, sacrifice, and guidance, with children obligated to show exceptional kindness, respect and gratitude towards her. The Quran Kareem emphasizes the pains and hardship a mother endures, and Prophet Muhammad SAW stated that" Paradise lies at the feet of mothers, " underscoring the spiritual reward for honoring one's mother. Children are taught to care for their mothers with special attention, particularly during their old age, fulfilling their rights with noble words and dutiful care.
Key aspects of a mother's value in Islam:
Unparalleled sacrifice:
Islamic teachings highlight a mother's immense sacrifices, including carrying her child with increasing weakness, enduring the pains of childbirth, and selflessly nurturing ber child through hardship.
Spiritual significance:
The saying " Paradise lies at the feet is mothers" signifies that showing love and kindness to one's mother can lead to spiritual rewards and the pleasure if Allah SWT.
Obligation of children:
Muslims are instructed to treat mothers with utmost respect, gratitude, and obedience even when the mother might be difficult or imperfect.
Divine honor:
The Quran Kareem and Hadith consistently emphasize that a mother's efforts and sacrifices are a gift from Allah SWT, giving her a dignified and honored position.
Nurturing and guidance:
Mothers are seen as vital guides for their children, helping them to learn good character, morals, and the path id faith.
Practical manifestations of this value:
Respectful interaction:
Children are encouraged to speak to their mothers with noble words and never to repel or speak disparagingly to them, even with a mere sigh of " uff".
Care in old age:
Children are responsible for caring for their parents in their old age, prioritizing their needs and orders.
Gratitude:
Children are instructed to be grateful for their mother's efforts, acknowledging the " fruits of her heart" and her selfless care.
The Quran Kareem and Hadith on mothers:
In this article we will enlighten the importance of mother in Hadith and Quran Kareem.
The Quran Kareem:
- We have enjoined on man kindness to hua parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth."
- " The lord hath decrees that ye worship bone but him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in the life, say not to then a word of contempt, nor repel them but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say " My cherished me in childhood."
- " We have enjoined on man and woman kindness to parents; but if they ( either of them) strive ( to force) thee to join with me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey then not ".
- " We have enjoined on man and woman( to be good) to his parents show gratitude to me and to thy people to me is ( Thy final) goal. If they ( parents) strive to make thee join in worship with me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey then not; yet bear them company in this life with justice And follow the way of those who turn to me.
The Hadith:
- The Prophet Muhammad SAW said, may Allah's SWT: Your heaven lies under the deer of your mother.
- A man came to the Prophet Muhammad SAW and said, ' O messenger of God! Who among the people is the mist Worthy and good companionship? The Prophet Muhammad SAW said: then your mother. The man further asked, then who? The Prophet Muhammad SAW said: then your father.
- Abu Usaid Saudi said: We were once sitting with Prophet Muhammad SAW when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah SWT! Do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Prophet Muhammad SAW said: Yes you must pray to Allah too bless them with hua forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends.
- Abdullah ibn and related that the messenger of Allah SWT said: the major sins are to believe that Allah SWT has partners, to disobey One's parents, to commit murder and to bear false witness.
- It is narrated by Hazrat Asma bint Abu Bakar that during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asma informed the Messenger of Allah SWT of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother.
Ahadith that feel like a bandaid in motherhood:
Allah's mercy and love is fae beyond a mother's love:
Messenger of Allah SWT said: " Allah paak created 100 units of mercy on the day he created the heavens and the earth. Each one of them can contain all that us between the heaven and the earth, through which a mother has companion for her children."
Messenger of Allah SWT said, " Allah has divided mercy into one hundred parts; and he retrained with him ninety - nine parts, and sent down to earth one part. Through this one part creatures deal with own another with one another with compassion, so much so that an animal lifts its hoof over its young lest it should hurt it."
Whenever I fear what will happen to my children it I'm not around, I recall this beautiful Hadith again. The one who loves them way more than me is there for them. I will have to let go some days and wrap them in the protective Duas with the belief that one who controls this world's mercy ( even the mercy within animals) will be merciful towards my children and attract others' needy towards them too.
Subhan Allah, this is just a fraction of his mercy......the vastness of it all baffles me......May all of us be among who those who are showered 99 parts is hua mercy in akhirah too!
Your child's ibaadah is your reward too!:
Sometimes we feel so little doing the mundane things for kids, stressed out with a huge number of responsibilities dropped on our shoulders that we fail to realize the beauty is this Hadith:
" It was narrated from ibn Abbas that: a woman held up a child of hers to the Messenger of Allah SWT and said: "o messenger of Allah, is there Hajj for This one?" He said: " Yes and you will be rewarded."
The child is innocent already - they don't need good deeds to go to Jannah. So whatever effort you put in for you kids when they are young is your reward, mama!
To a mom who feels like she has dedicated her whole life to her kids while everyone moves ahead, I make Dua that house ranks are raised in Jannah without you even knowing why you are being promoted and upon inquiry you find out that it's because of the good deeds your kids did as a result of your tarbiyyah.
To not praise or follow unrealistic ideals:
It was narrated from Hazrat Aisha that: the Prophet Muhammad SAW came into her and there was a woman with her. He said: "So-and-so and she does not sleep." And she told him about his she prayed a great deal. He said: " Stop praising her. You should do what you can, for by Allah paak, Allah paak never gets tired until you get tired. And the most beloved of religious actions to him is that in which a person persists."
The phrase" stop praising her" is Everything! Because that's where our self- esteem and our self are threatened. Whenever I praise someone on something so unideal, I recall this Hadith and ask my self- the people I'm praising , are they sacrificing something that they should not in order to achieve this said greatness? Because I'm also setting unreal standards in front of the kids by praising them.
Prophet Muhammad SAW said " Stop praising her" because she was constantly sacrificing her sleep fo pray while Allah paak gave her that body as an amanah. Aisha was impressed by her, but Prophet Muhammad SAW asked her to stop idealizing her because she was supposed to take care of her body too. Her time was for her family too.
If you want to do something consistently, it's so important to not go overboard. Know your obligations so you are not preferring Nawafil over fara'id. Your basic sleep and fard Salah come before your business. Your family comes before your community.
it starts. With you! Stop praising her. Stop praising him. Stop praising them. If they are sacrificing the wrong things, whatever is built upon that won't hold much value in front of Allah SWT because of the lack of foundation beneath. So stop praising them. Stop praising him. Stop praising her!
Every effort counts:
Messenger of Allah SWT said: Every good is Charity, indeed among the good is to meet your brother with a smiling face, and to pour what is left in your bucket into the vessel of your brother."
When I feel like I'm not doing anything die the world at large as a mother of small kids- a mother who feels like her existence has no " bigger purpose" but to soothe a fussy baby, to put tired kids to sleep, to hug frightened soul, to feed. A hungry stomach, to be a crying shoulder, to teach fiddly legs to walk, to calm down a stressed toddler , to play and nourish the little minds, to clean their messes over and over , I remind myself that Sadaqah comes in so many forms. Our intentions are enough to turn any everyday task into Sadaqah.
When you di mundane tasks day in and day out, which no one appreciates, but you keep doing them for the sake id Allah SWT, consider it all a Sadaqah. You may have empty pockets, but you have a heart that gives and gives. And all of that is Sadaqah!
So I make Dua that each of th aw Sadaqah us multiplied manifolds in reward and you see a fire at where you planted just one seed.
Mercy extended towards mothers even during the Salah:
" Messenger of Allah SWT said, " I stand up to lead Salat with the invention of prolonging it. Then I hear the crying of an infront and I shorten the salat lest I should make it burdensome for his mother."
The very moment I said my tasleem, I rushed to pick her up and hugged both of my kids. I could Sense the stares. And then I heard the imam saying through the speaker..….." I hope that the elderly like me and thea rest of the daughters will be patient with this great mother who chose to being such little kid with her and did not hold back. Let the kids develop love for the masajjid."
I found myself will buckets of tears rolling down my cheeks drenching my kids, hair as they cradled in my lap. I wish I could remember every word he says that made all those annoyed stares turn into pride and encouragement, but it was all an emotional haze after those few words.
Continuous Experiences and interactions make things easier for both parties. If we take children away from the mosques, they will never learn, how to accommodate oth e people and people will never learn how to accommodate the kids.
May Allah paak develop the love of Masjid in our children's hearts because one of the 7 who will be under Allah's shade un akhirah will be the people who worshipped Allah SWT from a young age! May Allah make our kids one of those!
Jannah awaits us Insha Allah:
" Jibrael came to the Prophet Muhammad SAW and said, " O Allah paak! This is Khadija coming to you with a dish having meat soup. When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord and on my behalf,and give her the glad tidings of having a Qasab palace in paradise wherein there will be neither any noise nor any fatigue ".
The Arabic words used in the Hadith are
صخب
Means a mixture ix noise, shouts and cries.
نصب
Means distress, fatigue, to exert to the utmost struggle hard, stand upright, being in a vertical position, illness or sorrow.
Having young kids means you are likely surrounded by all that. While drowned in Sakhab and ' nasab' , myself. I realized that Khadija was also a mother of young kids back then. And a glad tiding of a palace without any noise ana fatigue Muay have been such a timely joyous
Moment for her.
It's also a reminder for ya that we do this all for the sake of Allah SWT. We don't do it si our kids grow up to serve us. We don't do it so we have someone to depend on in. Our old age. May we all remember that we do it for Allah alone.
We often see parents striving so hard to motivate kids toward Jannah while forgetting themselves in the process. These women are amazing examples of those who strive towards jannah themselves and inspired their children towards that beautiful goal too.
The importance of a mother over fard kifaayah:
" It was narrated from Mu' awiyah bin Jahumah As- Sulami, that Jahimah came to the Prophet Muhammad SAW and said:
" O Messenger of Allah SWT! I want to go our and fight and I have come to ask your advice." He said: " Do you have a mother?".
He said: "Yes".
He said: " then stay with her, for paradise ja beneath her feet ".
When it's hard to walk and the weight of my womb swells my legs, I remind myself Jannah is Beneath my feet.
When I hide in the bathroom just to shed all the tired tears I have been holding onto all day long in front of the kids, I have to remind myself that Jannah is right beneath my feet.
When the baby is up all night long and I wake up tires and sleepless even thought I have been in bed for 10 hrs, I close my eyes one last time to affirm that Jannah is indeed beneath my feet. When people asked me bat I did all day long and I wanted to answer, " tries my best to pave my way towards jannah, I reminded myself that Jannah is Beneath my feet but they would not understand.
When I read the Hadith where Allah's SWT said, " Paradise is surrounded by all kinds of disliked undesirable things." I reminded myself that motherhood is not all sparkles and smiles, but those undesirable things but Jannah beneath my feet.
My Prophet Muhammad SAW told the whole through his Hadith that Jannah was beneath the feet of a mother, yet i could not understand why everyone asked if I was " just a mother."
Yes I am! I'm just a mother! And if being one for the sake of Allah SWT puts Jannah beneath my feet, I'm happy to be just that!
A mother's value over the father:
Abu Huraira reported that a person said:
" Allah's SWT! Who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment?
He said: Your mother, again your mother, then your father...
The motherhood responsibility:
" Everyone of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people us a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of her husband's home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of Man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for his flock."
This goes for both the mother and the father. But since in most cases as mothers we spend more time with the children, that is why I'm using motherhood. As parents, Allah SWT is going to judge us for how well we took care of the child/ children he blessed ya with.
Protest your family:
Allah paak says in the surah Al- tehreem :
" O you who have believed, protect ourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are angels, harsh and serve; they do not disobey Allah SWT in what he commands them but do what they are commanded."
Protecting yourself connotes refraining from committing sins and resisting yourself against your desires. Protecting you family indicates you are fostering and educating them. To enjoin the good and forbids the evil. Over and above you have to prepare a over family environment for them.
It is our job to make sure they become hard working. Productive well- mannered, kind, friends to humanity, loving , bold, just, wise, righteous , noble, faithful, dutiful, educated and most importantly, God- fearing individuals who will be an asset to the Ummah.
The concept of tarbiya( upbringing in Islam):
Just like a Gardener when he plants a seed, he sees to make sure it grows in a good environment. Getting rid of all the weeds, nurturing that sees until it grows into a beautiful flower.
This becomes your condition, when you have been blessed with that child. The weeds can be anything from the environment that could hurt that child, that could hurt that child, that could affect their development and many more.
And if you are this parent trying your best but your children are still going astray. Don't lose hope keep praying, and striving, make Dua constantly Allah sees your effort and Will surely reward you. May Allah make it easy for you.
Children are born pure:
" No child is born except on Al - fitrah then his parents make him Jewish, Christian or Magian, as an animal produces a perfect young animal: do you see any of it's body amputated?"
No child has any intention of doing wrong. What our children are exposed to at this initial stage affects them. And has an impact on their lives because it begins to shape their personality.
If you see them do something wrong or very bad, thoroughly investigate and find the root cause as soon as possible. Because at that stage they are not initiating or applying what they see, hear, feel or learn from the environment. And treat whatever the issue was. To avoid future occurances.
Children are a test for you:
Wealth and children are the adornment of this worldly life, but the everlasting good deeds are far better, with you lord in reward and in hope.
From this ayah, if is clear to us that those. Children we have been blessed with are a test for us from Allah. And concerning our children. It could be a physically or mentally, challenger child. At times as parents, we do things like:
- Overlooking the shariah out if love fir our children. Example: Finding it difficult to wake their kids for Fajr Salah, because they don't want to interrupt their sleep.
- Some of us neglect Salah, Quran Kareem recitation, and other good deeds because we are busy with the children.
When you make your children instead of your seen your Ultimate focus and your purpose in life, then you are clearly on the wrong path. Never overlook blind overlook or go blind over the matters of Deen out of love for your children. There is a need to strike a balance.
You are a role model:
You are your child/ children's first role model. Because when children are young, they are still in the process of learning what is right and what is wrong. And the correct way to behave in their environment.
So, it is now your responsibility as a parent to teach the child how to do this. How to choose his environment with so that they can continue to do what is good and pure.
They will always look up to you and imitate everything you do from childhood, so they key is : you would have to be what you want your children to be because they learn from you first: and they learn by doing not what you say.
Motherhood is an institution:
The child is new to the world so he does not yet what to do. He has an innate nature to be good, but it needs to nurtured. And you as his parents are changed with this responsibility to lead, guide, and take care of him.
If left alone, the child could go either was depending on who he meets and interacts with. But if you take your responsibility seriously to ensure he grows on al- fitr and obeys Allah's SWT and his Messenger then he will very likely continue to do what is good and pure.
Conclusion:
In Islam, motherhood holds a position of exceptional honor, respect, and spiritual significance. A mother is not only seen as the nurturer and caregiver of her children but also as a cornerstone of the family and society at large. The Qur’an and Hadith emphasize the mother's role, placing great importance on her sacrifices, compassion, and the lifelong bond she shares with her children.The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) famously said, “Paradise lies at the feet of the mother” (Sunan al-Nasa’i), highlighting the elevated status and rights of mothers in Islam. Additionally, Islam instructs believers to show kindness, respect, and obedience to their mothers, often placing this duty above all others after the worship of God.Motherhood in Islam is deeply revered. It is not only a biological or social function but a spiritual and moral responsibility, worthy of love, gratitude, and lifelong reverence. Islam encourages society to honor and support mothers, recognizing their irreplaceable role in nurturing future generations.